My three-year old has had a pacifier since day 1. She was definitely co-dependent on it and refused to give it up. Even when I’d say don’t you want to be a big girl she’d reply with the cutest face, “No mommy I’m a baby.” The fact that she could articulate that, made it obvious that it was time to let it go. Then our daycare provider made us leave the pacifier in the car once my daughter turned 2 1/2. So she was going from 7:30-3:30 without a pacifier. My husband was adamant about her keeping the pacifier at home until she’s ready, but he said if she lost the last pacifier we had it was over, no more pacifiers. One day I was in the shower and when I got out my daughter was watching television in my bedroom with no pacifier. I kept asking her where it was because it was almost time for bed. I then told her that the pacifier must be hiding from her to make it into a game. She had no idea where it was and then her dad starting looking frantically. I, on the other hand was calm and secretly excited until that night…She was the worst sleeper for about 2 weeks, but things got better and now she’s fine. This made me wonder what is my pacifier? What things, emotions, feelings am I holding onto that need to leave. When other people look at me they see that I am too mature for certain things and I recognize it too but as a comfort, I want to hold on to my “pacifier.” Whatever my “pacifier” is from complaining to unforgiveness, it has to go! Many of my friends and family thought I hid my daughter’s pacifier and I’m going on the record and saying I did not hide her pacifier. I’m glad it’s gone though! But I am responsible for the negativity that you will see disappearing from my life! I am totally responsible for those disappearances with the help of the Lord!!
I was in a training for sexual assault victim advocate training and the trainer emphasized that sexual assault can lead to PTSD. She continued to explain that sometimes with traumatic events people tend to push things down and not deal with them, but the things that happen in our pasts are always there, lurking if not addressed. The analogy that I visualized was like a beach ball that you are trying to hold under water. Sometimes pushing the ball down seems to make us feel better even though it is a strenuous process. You can push it down, continuously but it always eventually slips and manages to pop right back up from underwater. This is similar to the issues that we push down it’s hard to hide the traumatic events that happen to us but we think that it is easier to push it down. However, no matter how hard that we try, the problems always rears its ugly head. As hard as it may seem we need to face our issues because avoiding the issues only delays our healing. Don’t allow your issues to be like the beach ball. Take the courageous step of facing your pain in order to obtain the healing that God has for you.